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 No.118

>so what's your thing b-lokal?

"Oh, look who it is! Alright?"
"Alright."
"Alright."
"How's things?"
"Not bad, yourself?"
"Good, good. Workin' away."
"You're still doin' the scaffolding, aye?"
"Naw, chucked that years ago. Yourself?"
"Listen, I don't mean to be rude but I'm just gonna go and pick the classes, alright?"
"Right."
"Uh, well I was just doin' the whole website thing, that, I chucked that and all. You still in Glasgow, aye?"
"East end, ah, it's alright."
"I'm still in Partick."
"Right, so… What're you into these days?"
"I've got a secret hamster. Keep it up in my loft. She thinks I'm up there trying to fix the leak in the roof but… I'm up there feedin' it. Givin' it a wee clap (pet)."
"Nobody knows?"
"Nobody. My son got suspicious. He was like that: 'What leak? Dad, What're you doin' up there?' I says: 'Son, you don't wanna know.' He hasn't asked since. I don't know what he thinks I'm doing but, it wouldn't be that. Yourself?"
"See on my way to work, I pass this dump. It's not a real dump, it's just a bit of spare ground people use for…"
"Fly tipping?" (illegal waste removal)
"Aye… Well see in there there's this wardrobe, right? It's been there for months. I get in the wardrobe. Sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for ten hours. Told her last week 'It's Friday, I'll be away workin' the weekend. I'll be back monday workin' on the rigs.' I was in the wardrobe all weekend, fuckin' laughin' my head off."
"I've gotta get one for the loft."
"Get what for the loft?"
"Ah, I better go, see ya's later, right?"
"See ya later."
"Ah, just something to fix that leak."
"Ugh, that leak!"


 No.119

"Oh wait, I forgot to get ten tomatoes, back in a bit, sorry!"
"That's okay."
"So um… what's yer thing?"
"My thing?"
"Aye, yer thing…"
"Every Thursday, I pull down the shutters, phone the wife, tell her I'm stocktaking."
"But you're not."
"I strip off, grab a basket, walk around, stickin' things in."
"That's good, but you know what you could do?"
"What?"
"Watch back the CCTV for that day, go up next to where people were standing. Go like that to them: 'Alright, sir? Two for one. Can I help you madam? Ten tomatoes, alright here,' like you usually would… but with yer cock out."
"I'm doing that. I'm doing that tonight."
"Doing what tonight?"
"Ah, watchin' the game on that."
"Alright."

"Oh, sorry mate."
"It's alright."
"Should have a wee sign telling you which armrest's yours, eh?"
"Aye."
"So uh… what's yer thing?"
"What?"
"What's yer thing?"
"My what?"
"The thing, what's yer thing?"
"Mate, I don't have a clue what you're talking about."
"Haha, don't mind me mate, I'm off my nut."

 No.120

tl;dr


 No.121

trapne jak uhorka v gatiach. doporucujem suicidum




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